You are amazing, God.

Just got back from a week away at mostly sunny skegness, where I went for the Word Alive conference. 7000 people from all over UK, all gathering to learn together and grow in the knowledge of the grace of our Lord. One God. Truly amazing, truly humbling.

Well, that doesn't really explain my absence from here- what does is that my internet connection has been kind of shaky, and that I've been trying to stick to studying and running. :)

Ok, news also is that because due to power socket constraints I can't rearrange the furniture in my room, and I'm just itching to change the look of something, anything, decided to change blogspace to a new one HERE.

It's really bare for now, haven't got time to do anything to it, but it's a change! So shall be posting whatever snippets of my life there from now on.

Can I just say before I leave though, quoting the song "Indescribable"...
Awestruck I fall to my knees as I humbly proclaim: God is amazing.

I think in the midst of this mad rush to finish studying for exams, I just needed a shaking-up, to be reminded all over again, that I'm living this life for so much more than the insignificant pimple-stricken girl I stare at in the mirror each morning.

I live in the light of the person of Jesus Christ and what He came to fulfil, in the light of what little we know of eternity.

And that really makes all the difference you know.

--

You do all things well

Mountain maker, ocean tamer
Glimpses of You, burn in my eyes
The worship of heaven, fills up the skies

You made it all, said, "let there be"
And there was, all that we see
The sound of Your voice
The works of Your hands
You do all things well
You do all things well
You do all things well

Star creator, wind breather
The strokes of Your beauty
Brushed through the clouds
Light from the heavens
Touching the ground

Imagination runs wild
And breathes the breath of life
Across the fields, across the miles

hymn

This hymn has a beautiful tune that I can only half remember, does anybody know?

Have been seeking God on something that is so small but seems so huge, much confusion and doubt, fear and pride to sort out, so hearing these words sung this morning? just so apt. :)

Light of the minds that know him-
may Christ be light to mine!
my sun in risen splendour,
my light of truth divine;
my guide in doubt and darkness
my true and living way,
my clear light ever shining,
my dawn of heaven's day.

Life of the souls that love him-
may Christ be ours indeed!
the living bread from heaven
on whom our spirits feed;
who died for love of sinners
to bear our guilty load,
and make of life's brief journey
a new Emmaus road.

Strength of the wills that serve him,
may Christ be strength to me,
who stilled the storm and tempest,
who calmed the tossing sea;
his spirit's power to move me,
his will to master mine,
his cross to carry daily
and conquer in his sign.

May it be ours to know him
that we may truly love:
and loving, fully serve him
as serve the saints above;
till in the home of glory
with fadeless splendour bright
we serve in perfect freedom
our strength, our life, our light.

some tv for the weekend

Decided I needed some leisure, and so watched a fair bit of TV today. But it was what would have been considered educational TV by my parents when I was younger, so that’s ok. (:

Yep, like the Commonwealth Games! I think I enjoy watching sports much more than actually doing any. They were showing events I liked too, like synchronised swimming (jaw-dropped in amazement at their precision and the way they can keep their toes curled when their legs are dancing out of water- I tried and got a foot cramp immediately), like netball (which I actually know the rules for, and the way the girls move across court- just so much athleticism but combined with such grace, like squash (which triggered off memories of cheering for the rg and hc teams at Kallang), like the marathon (won by the 38 yr old Australian mother of two who doesn’t look like her stomach skin has ever been stretched!) The Melbourne crowd is truly quite amazing, the whole stadium was filled and buying tickets just to watch the start and end of a 2.5 hr long marathon.

What else: I also caught the interview they did with the dashing young men who are England's star swimmers. Oh and then of course, the BBC team checked out Melbourne cafes, including, no kidding, a dog-café. Yeah, to semi-quote the presenter, you sip cappuccino while doggy-dearest laps at pup-puccino! ahaha. And then the amazing café where the owner creates art in the foam of each cup of coffee with the tip of the spoon handle, and has pictures of women’s faces floating on coffee framed up around his café.

Then there was Planet Earth, which I shall make regular TV fare from this week on. (: Really miss watching these nature documentary sorts. Anyway today they featured freshwater, and traced the path it takes from mountaintop to lake or sea, plus all the living things along the way. (:

I have fallen in love with otters! Why didn’t anyone tell me how adorable (and cartoon) these cuties are before? They climb out of the water on to the banks to wriggle around in the sand on their backs, together, because back-rubbing is a social activity for them. And the way they stand up on their hind-feet and make squeaky noises! Ok but the best has to be all these little ottery things ganging up to harass grumpy Mr Alligator, strength in numbers they seemed to think, though watching them I really feared the alligator would just get mad and finish one off in a snap!

Ok. Now, TV's off and I'm online. sigh. There seems to be problem with my laptop too, keeps re-starting itself for no good reason. All my firefox bookmarks have disappeared! I hope nothing else does before I have a chance to back it all up!!

sesame street!!

Because this clip has so many of my favouritest sesame street songs/cartoonthings/monsters. plus the manamana song at the end. ahaha. And because I'm sure my sisters who like me spent afternoons watching these things too will enjoy it if no one else does. :)

So many more favourites I can think of aren't in there tho -yes obviously they can't fit everything in, but still- like count-von-count, super-grover, zoe-elmo clips and ernie's 'I'd like to live on the moon' song and oh oh the cereal-girl song!! but this does have rubber duckie, and sing-a-song, and alistair cookIE and all the impt monsters do appear. ahaha. :)

"Sunny day, sweeping the clouds away, on my way to where the air is sweet..."

as songtime and springtime and summertime to be

Just came back from church, came straight back because I was feeling so tired.
The choir sang, very excellently, a beautiful song in church today:

As water to the thirsty,
as beauty to the eyes,
as strength that follows weakness,
as truth instead of lies,
as songtime and springtime
and summertime to be
so is my Lord, my living Lord,
so is my Lord to me.

Like calm in place of clamour,
like peace that follows pain,
like meeting after parting,
like sunshine after rain,
like moonlight and starlight
and sunlight on the sea
so is my Lord, my living Lord
so is my Lord to me.

As sleep that follows fever,
as gold instead of grey,
as freedom after bondage,
as sunrise to the day,
as home to the traveler
and all we long to see
so is my Lord, my living Lord
so is my Lord to me.

- words by Timothy Dudley-Smith, music by Brian Coleman

Must say that when the words were flashed on the screen, I thought, oh one of those lots of pretty things songs. Which ya, guess it is, but in its simplicity it spoke to something in me.

I think my flu's gotten worse again. Which makes sense because I recovered too quickly, so that now I think about it, it's like I kind of got well enough to make it through the looong day yesterday (OCF's easter event), and then lapsed back into normal trend of recovery. So, thank God.

Wish the holidays were here! Or actually, no I take that back, I don't want to meet the future sooner than I must. Wish the clocks would stop a day, or maybe a week. So I can then get back on track work-wise, gym-wise, God-wise etcetc-wise. Too much to think about- giving me a headache!

Ok need food need sleep, got to go. :)

another chance!

sick

I could write about how horrible a day I've had, except that I would be half-lying. :P

It is extremely terrible and horrible to have to mope around with a dripping (now stuffy) nose, a perpetually throbbing head, sore throat, dry mouth and body ache all over. (I also realised today how clumsy I am, because every single bump I made was magnified 1000 times by my achey self.) But it was good to mope around legitimately, and sleep hours on end knowing I have to, sleep not being a reducible option anymore but a desperate necessity.

I still hate illness and hate not being able to eat chocolate (although I love bread soaked in milo maybe I shall continue eating that after I'm well). And it is really very 辛苦, especially the being woken up by my own coughing in the middle of the night part- which makes me long for Vicks and home. BUT, it must have been time to rest, my body knows best. So.

Can only keep praying for full recovery now- please please let me be well before Saturday's easter event?

I need to go do my essay now- His grace is ever sufficient for me. :)

____________

When I was weak, unable to speak, still I could call You by name
And I said Elbow Healer, Superhero, come if you can
You said, I Am

When I was weak, unable to speak, still I could call You by name
And I said Heartache Healer, Secret Keeper, be my best friend
You said, I Am

When I was weak, unable to speak, still I could call You by name
Oh, Shepherd Savior, Pasture Maker, hold on to my hand
You said, I Am

I will be weak, unable to speak, still I will call You by name
Creator, Maker, Life Sustainer
Comforter, Healer, My Redeemer
Lord and King, Beginning and the End
I Am, I Am

- excerpts from Nichole Nordeman's "I Am"

on my knees

I woke up this morning to my alarm clock and sunshine streaming in through gaps in the curtains. And I thought to myself, I'm going to smile, today's going to be a wonderful day. I thought of all the things I need to do, in what order I'll do them, how I'll be extremely productive, how I shall not waste an irretrievable second etc...

So, after I brush my teeth (including two emerging wisdom teeth which hurt like crazy but only at certain crazy moments), wash my face and come back downstairs, I lift my laptop cover and open gmail. Suddenly, all that organisation and I'm-in-control and coolness promptly flies out the window and I'm reduced to a sobbing mess in my swirly chair for the next few minutes.

And why? Daddy just forwarded me an email from my cousin, to say that my 大姑 accepted Christ last night. 大姑, whom I've always loved for her goodness and kindness, admired so much for her strength and patience in face of illness, hardship and other things, who is still struggling valiantly against cancer.

It was at this line that I started crying uncontrollably: "She asks our Father to heal her completely so that she can go to church with me on Sunday." My tears are tears of such unspeakable joy, to know that someone I love, that my family loves, that God loves above all, has decided to accept His love.

They are tears of realisation that my world has once again shrunken back into that small walnut shell filled with me and little else. They are also of immense disappointment: realising that I did not believe firmly enough that it was possible for God to take away fear of my grandmother and whatever other fears and disbelief there was in her heart and replace it with peace and assurance in Him. Knowing that I had not prayed with as much faith as I could have had, that sometimes I ceased to pray on this matter altogether.

But God works in mysterious ways. I cannot presume to know them all, but now for example, I do believe He sent my cousin to Canada to study despite all the financial constraints, so that he might find Him there. To find Him and then return to Malaysia to be that shining light to his family, an encouragement to his mother in troubled times, and in turn to be such an encouragement to my family.

You might not understand this, you might scoff it, but it's impossible for me to ignore the intricate weaving of divine plans between the canvas of my life and that of my cousin's and aunt's all the way back home. My cousin'll probably never knew how timely his email was, to him it was the natural thing to send an email the next morning. But it was perfect timing, for me to receive it when I did just now, for me to be gently rebuked, for me to fall on my knees again.

I pray for God's healing hand to be upon 大姑 now, I pray for His joy, love, peace, peace that the world cannot give, to be with their family. I echo her own prayer, that she might be well enough to attend church with her son this Sunday. And if you would, please pray with me.

!!

Anyway, having just watched the very exhilarating ladies figure skating championships, I soooo wish I were young enough (like 5) to be an aspiring figure skater!! They were just amazing. I actually shed REAL tears when 荒川静香 shizuka arawaka WON! Half-wished I were Japanese so I could jump up and down and cheer and scream and cry properly but oh well. I really really admire her grace and elegance, such a beautifully exquisitely perfect performance. Everytime she did some triple this or double that I had to wince because I was literally too scared to watch her fall. Of course she didn't! Sasha Cohen did fall, which was such a pity because I really did love her short programme, though even on Tuesday I already liked Arawaka for being so serene and demure. Do you know, even when she realised she'd won, she was just a picture of joyful composure, just smiling and smiling so sweetly, while all the people around her were shaking her, her hand, the chair, tears etc. Haha. I should stop ranting right. And I actually felt pain for Irina Slutskaya because she does deserve to win it, it's her last chance! Not being on form when it matters must be disappointing and horrible to the max. Ok, just getting the euphoria (over what I don't really know) out of my system. :)

You scored as Journalism. You are an aspiring journalist, and you should major in journalism! Like me, you are passionate about writing and expressing yourself, and you want the world to understand your beliefs through writing. English 100% Journalism 100% Dance 92% Biology 83% Linguistics 83% Theater 75% Art 75% Sociology 67% Philosophy 58% Psychology 58% Mathematics 50% Engineering 50% Anthropology 42% Chemistry 25% What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3) created with QuizFarm.com

why do I see english at the top? admittedly biased by my emphatic "disagree" with everything to do with analytical/rational/social-science like things in the questions. so. one foot in the right door?

Today was a good day. And I have so many good songs on my laptop that I've forgotten all about. But this is a new good song.

Friend and King

My eyes are ever on You Lord
You guide me with Your hand
This road I take is led by You
I will walk Your ways

In my days of trouble Lord
I can depend on You
I'm hidden in Your presence now
Established in Your grace

I am Yours
Forever I will sing
Faithful is my Friend and King

Karlee Abbott and Claire O'Neil/Riverview Media

"dreamsweetnightgoodybovreeair"

initiative

This will be LONG. Chunks from the past four days in my daily devotional (Oswald Chambers) which I should have read on those dates at the top of those pages but didn't till today:

---

The Initiative against Depression

"Arise and eat" - 1 Kings 19:5

The angel did not give Elijah a vision, or explain the Scriptures to him, or do anything remarkable; he told Elijah to do the most ordinary thing, to get up and eat.

If we were never depressed we should not be alive; it is the nature of a crystal to be depressed. A human being is capable of depression, otherwise there would be no capacity for exaltation. There are things that are calculated to depress, things that are of the nature of death; and in taking an estimate of yourself, always take into account the capacity for depression.

When the Spirit of God comes He does not give us visions, He tells us to do the most ordinary things conceivable. Depression is apt to turn us away from the ordinary commonplace things of God's creation, but whenever God comes, the inspiration is to do the most natural simple things - the things we would never have imagined God was in, and as we do them we find He is there.

The inspiration that comes to us in this way is an initiative against depression; we have to do the next thing and do it in the inspiration of God. If we do a thing in order to overcome depression, we deepen the depression; but if the Spirit of God makes us feel intuitively that we must do the thing, and we do it, the depression is gone. Immediately we arise and obey, we enter on a higher plane of life.

The Initiative against Despair

"Rise, let us be going" - Matthew 26:46

The disciples went to sleep when they should have kept awake, and when they realised what they had done it produced despair. The sense of the irreparable is apt to make us despair, and we say - "It is all up now, it is no use trying any more." If we imagine that this kind of despair is exceptional, we are mistaken, it is a very ordinary human experience. Whenever we realise that we have not done that which we had a magnificent opportunity of doing, then we are apt to sink into despair; and Jesus Christ comes and says - "Sleep on now, that opportunity is lost forever, you cannot alter it but arise and go on to the next thing." Let the past sleep, but let it sleep on the bosom of Christ, and go out into the irresistible future with Him.

There are experiences like this in each one of our lives. We are in despair, the despair that comes from actualities, and we cannot lift ourselves out of it. The disciples in this instance had done a downright unforgivable thing; they had gone to sleep instead of watching with Jesus, but He came with a spiritual initiative against their despair and said "Arise and do the next thing." If we are inspired of God, what is the next thing? To trust Him absolutely and to pray on the ground of His Redemption.

Never let the sense of failure corrupt your new action.

The Initiative against Drudgery

"Arise, shine." - Isaiah 60:1

We have to take the first step as though there were no God. It is no use to wait for God to help us, He will not; but immediately we arise we find He is there. Whenever God inspires, the initiative is a moral one. We must do the thing and not lie like a log. If we will arise and shine, drudgery becomes divinely transfigured.

Drudgery is one of the finest touchstones of character there is. Drudgery is work that is very far removed from anything to do with the ideal - the utterly mean grubby things; and when we come in contact with them we know instantly whether or not we are spiritually real. Read John 13. We see there the Incarnate God doing the most desperate piece of drudgery, washing fishermen's feet, and He says - "If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet, ye also ought to wash one another's feet."

It requires the inspiration of God to go through the drudgery with the light of God upon it. Some people do a certain thing and the way in which they do it hallows that thing forever afterwards. It may be the most commonplace thing, but after we have seen them do it, it becomes different. When the Lord does a thing through us, He always transfigures it. Our Lord took on Him our human flesh and transfigured it, and it has become for every saint the temple of the Holy Ghost.

The Initiative against Dreaming

"Arise, let us go hence." - John 14:31

Dreaming about a thing in order to do it properly is right; but dreaming about it when we should be doing it is wrong. After Our Lord had said those wonderful things to His disciples, we might have expected that He would tell them to go away and meditate over them all; but Our Lord never allowed "mooning". When we are getting into contact with God in order to find out what He wants, dreaming is right; but when we are inclined to spend our time in dreaming over what we have been told to do, it is a bad thing and God's blessing is never on it. God's initiative is always in the nature of a stab against this kind of dreaming, the stab that bids us "neither sit nor stand but go".

If we are quietly waiting before God and He has said- "Come ye yourselves apart," then that is meditation before God in order to get at the line He wants; but always beware of giving over to mere dreaming once God has spoken. Leave Him to be the source of all your dreams and joys and delights, and go out and obey what He has said. If you are in love, you do not sit down and dream about the one you love all the time, you go and do something for him; and that is what Jesus Christ expects us to do. Dreaming after God has spoken is an indication that we do not trust Him.

---

Think that's it, some of what's been weighing me down articulated in those words, there's probably a lot more, but hey enough to stare in the mirror at for the moment: depression, despair, drudgery, dreaming... Yes way too much dreaming, and too little doing...

exam

The most crucial exam of all, and one I neglect most, is the examination of self. "Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves." 2 Corinthians 13:5

A moden heresy, a common half-truth, said Rico Tice this morning, is: "Lord my life's so empty, fill me." as opposed to the real gospel, the full truth of "Lord I'm full of sin, my life's an offence to you, rescue me." The first being a wanting-more-and-more and the second being a get-down-on-knees-and-plead cry of brokeness and humility. And sometimes it's indeed too easy to lose sight of that, the fact that we're rebels more often than victims in this fallen world, and that we actually NEED forgiveness, NEED salvation.

--

Randomness:
1. Heinz's beef broth in a can is good with toast.
2. I clicked on Minesweeper just now. Minesweeper, that silent lonely game that I played to while away many nights last winter. So lousy at it now, can't get anywhere near those high scores I registered long ago.
3. It is so cold in my room. Radiator and fan heater are on and I've just pulled on my sweater.
4. What I'm not meant to know, I'm better off not knowing, really. Why do I never learn my lesson?
5. Nothing moves me the way a sanctuary echoing with magnificent orchestral music and the beautiful voices of people in all colours, shapes and sizes, just worshipping, can.

--

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong, a perfect plea:
a great High Priest, whose name is Love,
who ever lives and pleads for me.
My name is written on His hands,
my name is hidden in His heart;
I know that while in heaven He stands
no power can force me to depart,
no power can force me to depart.

wonderful

It strikes me that I should be panicking and hyperventilating right about now:

B34: Seminar II prep; Essay on bank management; 5 chapters of reading, 6 sets of photocopied *things*.
B203: Coursework 4; Practical 2; 7 chapters of reading
B202: Coursework 3; Demo Lecture Prep; Group Essay and presentation (6th March)
B201: Coursework 4
(endless reading to catch up on for the last two)

PLUS, I still have piles from last term to clear!!

But I just MUST put down in words, no matter how inadequate, how immensely blessed I am, and how incredibly blind I usually am to it all. I love God, I love Jesus, and not because of how much He loves me (ALOT), but simply because He is who He is. I'm ever so grateful for His faithfulness, I'm ever so grateful for OCF, and beautiful hearts of these people there whom I've really come to love, ever so grateful for their constancy, support and love. Ever so grateful for timely emails from my parents and sisters, helping to fill the gaps in my life here in London. Ever so grateful for friendship. Ever so grateful for All Souls and inspiring worship amazing teaching, thankful for this chance to be with the children at the Chinese School, and for all the gladness they inspire.

[Anyway today we had a little bible quiz for the kids on the stories they've been learning, so Zara asked something like, "Where did God promise the Israelites they were going to after Moses led them out of Egypt?" And Jason (who's been waving his hand excitedly in the air anyway) blurts out, "From Egypt to London!"]

Learning: I want to learn Cantonese. And Teochew (so I can talk to ah-ma). And to write Chinese in 繁体. And to play the piano properly. And to sing!

But first I'd better go learn my Economics. Big Sigh.

--

And I stand here before You in wide opened wonder
Amazed at the Glory of You
The power of heaven, revealing Your purpose in me
As I'm reaching for You
***
And everyday, I'll walk Your way. I'll live my life for You to see- You're wonderful to me.
You are so wonderful, You're my delight, my sweet devotion
***
In the midst of the storm through the wind and the waves,
You'll still be faithful.. You'll still be faithful
When the stars refuse to shine and time is no more,
You'll still be faithful.. You'll still be faithful O Lord.

busy busy, hail and sunshine

For all those who think that Londoners are just whiny and grumpy with all their complaints about the erratic weather (ie me before I lived here): It was breezy and sunny one moment and then started hailing all of a sudden! yes loud noisy hail=huge pieces of ice falling out of the sky for all of I think half a minute, and there's now glorious sunshine overheating my room now. I think London's weather's crazier than my moods.

I've been busy busy busy and can't find enough time as usual. Sigh. It's mostly been very good, like birthday dinners and hwachong night and warm Tuesday cells, but quite quite tiring. Under the "not very good" category then, lies everything to do with B201/202/203/34/25.

The cd I ordered finally came in the post, snugly tucked into a bubble wrap envelope! I tell you, popping bubble wrap bubbles must rank as one of the most inane but effective stress-relief activities ever. Which is what I'm going back to doing now. haha.

And in the spirit of Valentine's Day (long past I know, but ocf is celebrating tomorrow, so.), read about this man's sacrificial love.

And a quote:

When falling in love, we seem to float on air. The whole world seems wonderful, and we take in stride people who normally irritate us and things that normally frustrate us. … A particular person's idiosyncrasies, which normally rub us the wrong way, no longer affect us adversely. For a while, we simply seem to be able to love anyone — to love our neighbor — without any effort at all. These momentary occasions can … give us a glimpse of what it would be like to love our neighbor all the time.
- Diogenes Allen

And back to work. :)

am I willing to be broken bread and poured-out wine?
song birds are taught to sing in the dark...

s l o w to s p e a k

Argh. Absolutely cannot stand the way I blurt things out too quick and then have to spend the next few hours-days-weeks brooding over how it might have been interpreted, what the other person thinks, etcetcetc.

".... be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." (James1:19)

i don't know about tomorrow

This girl, is a walking bundle of contradictions right now. Wants to be a good student- can't really be bothered; worrying- knowing it's needless/useless; good things and blessings overflowing- lacking in joy; rootedrootedrooted- feelingshaky.

Don't know what the problem is, am frustrated at not knowing, helpless at the knowledge that that's all I can do, disgusted that I can't even do the only thing I can do properly. And irritated/amused that the last sentence applies to about three or four wildly madly different situations all at once! sigh. whywhywhy?

I don't know about tomorrow; I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from its sunshine, For its skies may turn to grey.
I don't worry o'er the future, For I know what Jesus said.
And today I'll walk beside Him, For He knows what is ahead.

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

Every step is getting brighter, As the golden stairs I climb;
Every burden's getting lighter, Every cloud is silver-lined.
There the sun is always shining, There no tear will dim the eye;
At the ending of the rainbow, Where the mountains touch the sky.

I don't know about tomorrow; It may bring me poverty.
But the one who feeds the sparrow, Is the one who stands by me.
And the path that is my portion, May be through the flame or flood;
But His presence goes before me, And I'm covered with His blood.

有一位神

有一位神，有权能创造宇宙万物，也有温柔双手安慰受伤灵魂

有一位神，有权柄审判一切罪恶，也有慈悲体贴人的软弱

有一位神，我们的神，唯一的神，名叫耶和华

有权威荣光，有恩典慈爱，是昔在今在永在的神

有一位神，有权能创造宇宙万物，也有温柔双手安慰受伤灵魂

有一位神，高坐在荣耀的宝座，却死在十字架挽救人堕落

有一位神，我们的神，唯一的神，名叫耶和华

有权威荣光，有恩典慈爱，是昔在今在永在的神

I DO NOT LIKE ECONOMETRICS. sigh.

Thankful so thankful for the option of escaping the trauma of internship applications interviews etc. Although, some of these interview questions are quite interesting:

How many golf balls are flying above ground in the U.S. right now?
Why is a man-hole cover round?
How many ping pong balls can a Boeing 747 carry?

Am I living my life well?

At the counter in the Bloomsbury shop I discovered that:
1. I got a free divine chocolate bar with my copy of The Independent
2. They not only have a 25p offer on student newspapers (inflation that- used to be 20p), but the Economist was £1 off too!

Happiness.

Anyway, interesting bits from the letters section:

From the "press secretary to minister mentor, singapore": a letter about unfounded statements Devan Nair made about Mr Lee, published in Economist's obituary on DN. That was headed "Devan Nair" and followed by their apology. I never knew about the alcoholism or the lawsuit against DN, not that I knew anything much about him anyway, shall look for a copy of that obituary....

From some guy in California: a letter under the header "Evolving Faith".
Excerpt: "I am amazed at your faith in evolution... My faith requires only one mechanism: God's love. Yours requires three: that something can come of nothing, that rocks can spontaneously spawn living things (life from inorganic elements) and that genetic mutations can turn flatworm into an Einstein. You win; there's no doubt that your faith far outweighs mine."

From some guy in Hong Kong: a short one under "Happy union".
Excerpt: "...I believe that we should all be in favour of same-sex nuptials. After all, why should gays be exempt from misery?" Oh dear.

tv

The other day, yesterday I think, I watched this 'child of our time' episode on BBC, on sibling relationships. Most poignant actually, especially the pair of twins with number one always putting number two first, and number two always looking elsewhere for a best friend but turning to number one in the playground on the first day of school. And that other pair of brothers who fought and competed over everything, but when separated couldn't hide that they loved each other. "Don't tell William this, but I miss him."

Wondered then about my sisters and I. How might our childhood have looked like from behind a camera lens? Mostly I wondered about the one closest in age to me, three years, which would probably have been the largest age gap among the kids on the programme.

One thing I know for sure, that segment where they gave one kid a huge chocolate cookie and the other a tiny pretzel, to test if they would share? I think almost 100% we would have exactly half a cookie and half a pretzel each!

Probably not from pure sisterly affection though, there's always been a perpetual calculativeness that led to everything from number of M&Ms, fishballs, fried batter prawns or whatever being fairly counted out... which always got my mother so agitated. But, I always thought 孔融让利, and/or 大的让小的 was somewhat pointless because you couldn't have both at once right, either one of us had to be "bad" and willingly receive. So how? So we're just smart problem solvers! heh.

I really should be a better sister.

--
Monday 8pm seems to be C4's religious controversies slot, last week "Root of Evil, this week "Gay Muslims", next week "Gay Vicars". And, "Balderdash and Piffle" is quite fun (they research the root of words, the word "set" has a dictionary entry as long as a full-length novel!!).

Argh I know, I watch too much TV for my own good.

There is a NEW SONG in my mouth,
there is a DEEP CRY in my heart,
a hymn of praise to Almighty God, hallelujah!
And now I STAND FIRM on this ROCK
my life is hidden now with CHRIST in God.
The old has gone and the new has come,
Hallelujah! - Your love has lifted me

- Kate and Miles Simmonds, Thankyou Music

ba da da-da dum..... yep sang this in church today, and that's the trumpet filler bit after the chorus. (the capitalisation of words all mine, cos I always feel like shouting those parts out haha)

Learn contentment shining, contentment contentment. - On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand.

weeping for the whale

Ok I exaggerate, and I never was the animal-lover sort, but I do feel a real twist of sadness and grief, for London's loss of its baby water guest. So soon after I got acquainted with him too (well, 'it' actually since no one has told me if it's a he or she), and mostly through the news unfortunately, since I didn't dare visit the Thames. But if you don't know what I'm talking about, you can acquaint yourself with the little, bottle-nosed, whale-sized (5m long) whale, here:

whale arrives in Thames
whale's sad demise in Thames
whale in pictures

In case you still think it's a joke or hoax or something, it isn't! It made front page news on the Guardian too. haha. boohoo.

hilarious!

Text from angela: "Housemate alert- extremely dangerous looking completely blackened banana spotted on kitchen counter. Danger of fleainvasion 2.. Permission to dispose?"

Well I hadn't read the text then, but the minute I got home I heard feet flying down the stairs and a very horrified, "is that banana yours??"

As a matter of fact it was! I'd stupidly put a whole banana in the freezer, skin and all, and when I took it out this morning it was like stone and un-peelable and very black, so I had to leave it out to defrost. It was yummy when thawed though. And, no, thankfully, no fruitflies came.

haha.

mostly I like the simplicity and quietness of the piano in the background, and her wonderful voice, and the simple words...

you and me, me and you
there's so much that we've been through
through it all we've come to understand God's love
and if tomorrow never comes
know this twice, just know this once
knowing you has made me able to go on

you and me, me and you
there couldn't be a better two
to be blessed to know the meaning of true love
and if you leave me, i'll feel scared
fall apart, so unprepared
but i'll dare to make it through all on my own
yes i'll dare to make it through on my own

you and me, rosie thomas

shining likes

at the moment, and in no order of preference

- perfumes and scents and scent strips in books (but to not to wear and not aromatherapy candles either)
- innocent smoothies
- frozen grapes and blueberries and strawberries (and will try the banana sitting in her freezer soon)
- looking at pretty skirts (but not wearing them)
- twinings lady grey tea
- music newly discovered thanks to yuheng: rosie thomas
- leaning pillows against the wall to read in bed

and she is determined to learn to like:
- going to the gym
- doing tutorials before the day before they are due
- econometrics

rest

Got the gulps of fresh air I needed, going for the evening service tonight.

The all souls orchestra was playing for worship, and the sanctuary was packed, with more people in the overflow downstairs, and I sat in the upper gallery as I usually do, but high up on the sides because the lower rows facing the front were already filled....

So there I sit and stand and sing and pray between two people, complete strangers yet binded to me as brothers, and somehow, suddenly, find myself tearing slightly. Was it the grandeur of the music, was it the sharp sermon on hypocrisy, on forgiveness, was it that final hymn that I love and haven't heard in awhile? It could have been a mixture of all that of course, but I think above all I was moved to tears by the presence of God.

I'm grateful that daddy let me bring his guitar over, (he now has to strum my lousy blue one instead) especially on nights like these. To hold the guitar and brush the strings and hum and sometimes sing to. Learnt a new song jingkai led on Friday. Didn't learn the tune properly but I've hummed it so many times now I can't remember which parts I made up to fill in missing bits.. haha. It's really lovely though.

There is a peace, there is a rest.
That settles here in Your presence.
When Your face is very near,
Your love erases every fear.

It's the power, of Your presence.
It's the strength, of Your hand in mine.
It's the glory, of Your greatness,
that has the power to change my life.

saturday energy boost

Something about kids and that combination of innocence and irreverence fills me energy, and is really entirely worth the slight sorethroat after (which is easily remedied with honey-water anyway.) Some examples:

So I ask the children what they think love is and there're alot of hands raised and waving about in the air, but before I can choose one to answer, this boy chirps up, "If, if God is so big and created the whole earth, then if God farts will the whole earth will stink?" ?!? How that relates to love I have no idea.

Today, I got them to kind of act out the story of baby Moses floating down the Nile in the basket, using a balloon as the baby and a box as the basket. When told to copy a verse down and draw what they remembered of the story afterwards, one of them says, "I don't know how to draw a baby, can I draw a balloon instead?"

Really starting to love the children. And really miss my baby sister, though I think she's probably "grown up" considerably again in the few months I've been away. After all, sister number three is now taller than me! (and about ten kg lighter I think) haha.

"See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ" (Colossians 2:8)

Verse shared with me by my cell leader on Tuesday- timely, apt. Came across it again today browsing trueU's sidewalk chalk. Shall have to elaborate another time but there's an article here on christianity and philosophy if anyone's interested.

"People throw away what they could have by insisting on perfection, which they cannot have, and looking for it where they will never find it." - Edith Schaeffer

Eight days into the new year already, what have I done?

I have...
- resolved to get healthy
- seen, touched, tasted and fell into soft white snow
- caught on my glove a properly unsmashed intricately formed snowflake
- yet to figure myself out
- just tidied up my room for the start of school (tomorrow)
- been singing singing singing praise to my King!

Line from my daily devotional's dec 31st entry:
"Leave the Irreparable Past in His hands, and step out into the Irresistible Future with Him."